Semi-active, mostly reblogs of random things. Currently mostly flailing over The Umbrella Academy. Mainly over on dreamwidth or the kliego discord. Former bandom writer. Pro shipper
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”
*prolonged silence* “oh my…”
“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”
*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
A scent you love - doritos (a pack is near me) also pineapple
What’s something you’re looking forward to this week? - I’ve got nothing really planned for the weekend, other than watching Brokenwood Mysteries tomorrow. Everything else depends on the net
What’s a book you’re currently reading? - The Quest For Planet X. I picked it up from Forbidden Planet awhile back. I’m so far behind on my Star Wars books but I picked this on up because it was signed. It’s fun so far. I’m also reading Lesser Known Monsters The Torn Earth, but I’ve kinda stalled on it because my focus is so off lately. (I definitely recommend the series if you’re looking for a good story about monsters and LGBT characters!)
What’s a game you’re currently playing? - i just finished the first Dark Pictures Anthology, The Man Of Medan last night. I didn’t do too well (most everyone died including the cute one) and some parts of it were frustrating and puzzling. I’m gonna a do the next game next week and do the curators cut version in October
I’m also, slowly, working my way through Tears Of The Kingdom though I’ve stalled a bit (I just got to Kakariko). I’ve been also doing Dreamlight Valley, Genshin Impact, Honkai Starrail (and other app games) and I just started Hello Kitty Island Adventure which is super fun and cute!
What’s the most recent movie you watched? - the last film I watched was Host, although my focus wasn’t fully there. I’m still so impressed it was done in lockdown! I’m hoping to watch Saw soo, and the new Dungeons And Dragons film cause the blu ray came and I need to see Xenk😍
Are you watching anything on TV or listening to any shows? - on tv I’m watching Voyager because a channels been doing a run. I’m now on season 6. I’m also watching Futurama since it just comes back. (I have a bunch of things to watch on streaming but I’m faily)
I need to get back to Welcome To Night Vale, but I recently started Spirit Box Radio which I definitely recommend. I finished season 1 and need to start season 2 soon.
Favourite season? - Autumn, I think. Spooky vibes!
What’s something you’ve learned recently? - ok I’m sure I learned something recently but my brain is just… non functional
Have you had any water lately? Not water specifically but I’m drinking ice tea
Again I dunno if anyone wants to be tagged soo feel free
Did you know I’m also the guy who took the Pizza Ray picture? Did you know there are THREE versions?? Welp , Tumblr, here you go. Straight from the source. Pizza Rays versions 1, 2 and 3. Enjoy. Images by Rich G (me) from the black parade world tour. Venice Italy backstage at the Heineken Jammin Festival.
I will never forgive mattel for not letting earring magic ken keep his mesh shirt and cock ring necklace in the movie
truly unforgivable
peer reviewed tags
[ID: Image 1: A photo of the doll Earring Magic Ken. He’s blonde and tan with slicked back hair. He wears a mesh purple shirt, a purple pleather vest, an earring in his left ear, and a necklace with a large ring pendant. The pendant has been universally understood to look like a cock ring, which contributed to him being quickly discontinued.
Image 2: A screenshot of Earring Magic Ken from Barbie (2023). His necklace is a large pendant of the Barbie logo. He’s blonde and tan with floppier hair. He wears a regular purple tee shirt, a purple pleather vest, and an earring in his left ear.
Image 3: Tags that say, “it’s because he was wearing the cock ring somewhere else on him. hope this helps/j”.
Image 4: Tags that say, “he’s still smooth down there but has it taped to the plastic”. /End ID]
Feel uncomfortable going to Cheesecake Factory when it’s so under the watch of the eye of Sauron
I made this post in 2016 and it got 3 notes, suddenly people are interacting with it. What is happening how did you even find it
How doe this post have less than 1,000 notes when “The Eye Of Sauron at the Cheesecake factory” has been living rent-free in my head for almost a decade?
he is turning the tiles brown. he needs to be contained
SCP
fools. this was a white goat, you can see the white markings on him. he’s been soaking up the brown and he’s only got one square left. let him finish his work
AO3 IS BACK FOR GOOD ACCORDING TO THEIR TWITTER AND THAT MEANS ITS TIME FOR #JUSTLEAVEACOMMENT FEST TO TRULY BEGIN!!! FOR DAY ONE ITS OLD FICS NEW FICS SHORT FICS!!!!
CHECK OUT THE OLDEST AND NEWEST YOUR FANDOM HAS TO OFFER AND PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THOSE PERFECT LITTLE FICS LESS THAN 2K
LETS COME BACK BETTER AND STRONGER WITH EVEN MORE COMMENTS FOR THE WONDERFUL AUTHORS WHO BRIGHTEN OUR DAYS AND NIGHTS WITH THEIR FICS!!!
that one magazine tidbit about bilvy ‘corrupting’ brendon on tour in the UK is soooooooo hot sorry. like i don’t even care about brendon as an individual but thinking about pete and the tall trio absolutely ruining brendon and ryan is . 🥵🥵🥵
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